What I Look Like Now

I've often commented on how weird French children's books are. Here's the best we've found yet:

UNE SOURIS VERTE (A GREEN MOUSE)

Une souris verte qui courait dans l'herbe
(A green mouse who was running in the grass)

Je l'attrape par la queue
(I catch her by the tail)

Je la montre a ces messieurs
(I show her to these men)

Ces messieurs me disent:
--Trempez-la dans l'huile!
(These men tell me:
--Dip her in oil!)

--Trempez-la dans l'eau!
(--Dip her in water!)

...Ca fera un escargot tout chaud!
(...That will make a nice hot snail!)

Je la mets dans mon tiroir,
elle me dit: "Il fait trop noir."
(I put her in my drawer,
she says to me: "It's too dark.")

Je la mets dan mon chapeau,
elle me dit: "Il fait trop chaud."
(I put her in my hat,
she says to me: "It's too hot.")

Je la mets dans ma culotte
elle me fait trois petites crottes!
(I put her in my underpants
she makes me three little turds!)

And there you have it. I will miss these books inordinately. It seems that Dadaism survives, but only in French children's books. It's better in French, because it rhymes. Not at the beginning, but it gradually settles into a poetic form.