Jonathan's scheming has finally succeeded. He got me a DS when Tristram was born, and has been working on getting me into video games as long as I've known him. He finally got me hooked on one, to the point of neglecting this blog. Final Fantasy did me in.
I'm also still busy job-hunting and doing worldmeets.us stuff--now I'm finding content for the site as well as translating and editing it, so that is all good experience. I would love it if I could get paid to do that full time; it's such incredibly interesting work and it's just so much fun. But that's the thing about non-profits; without profit it's hard to do things like pay employees. I have been dragging my heels on one request, though: they want me to write a short bio of myself for the site. I don't know why that seems so onerous to me; it's only a couple hundred words. They've asked, though, that I explain what in my background makes me interested in the project, and I have no idea what to say. I think of it in terms of what makes the project interesting to me, not the other way around--it seems to me like anyone would be interested, because it's a great site.
I am still knitting, and no Moebius twists so far this time. I have as much skirt as Mariah Carey now, so that's progress.
Yesterday I took Tristram downstairs for tea with our neighbor and her four-month-old baby, Thomas. He feels light as a feather to me, though he is actually large for a kid that young. One forgets so quickly how little they actually are at first. I got really nostalgic and a little baby-crazy. Tristram, though, did not like seeing me hold another baby, so it's a good thing we can't even consider one for a good while yet. At least till we all have incomes and health care! And then, after that, till we want to take on that huge of an undertaking again.
I was struck once again by how different Triscuit is from other babies. Thomas is an angel--he's such a good, easy, happy baby! But so passive, too. It kind of creeps me out to see a baby who's content to just lie under one of those play structures with the dangly toys on bars, asking for nothing and not caring much if anyone pays attention or not. He doesn't roll over yet, and even if you sit him up he can't stay on his own at all. Tristram rampaged through the apartment, which is not yet really childproofed, and stuffed his cheeks with madeleines till he could barely chew. I love how active and alert he is, and how much he is involved with his environment, and I worked hard to teach him to be an active participant in the world and not a passive observer--no wind-up swings for us! But sometimes I worry, like when he tears through the neighbor's house and is in danger of trampling her supine infant, that it will get him into trouble. To be honest, he kind of looked like a trouble child with his demands and his energy and strength, even though she was completely nice about it and admired his development, alertness, and strength. But not everyone will be so understanding, and I worry that he'll get labeled sometimes as a "bad kid" for having more strength, energy, and curiosity than judgment. I mean, he has the size and strength of a kid twice his age, but his emotional and intellectual development are only half again his age, not double. He still comes out ahead, but we will have to depend on the kindness of the world while his ability to get out of trouble catches up to his ability to get into it. Fortunately he is also very sweet and generous, and will soon be old to understand why one doesn't step on tiny babies.
I'm sure my grandmother remembers this feeling well--as I read this, it looks like I'm describing my Uncle Mike as much as my son. That's my comfort, I guess--if I can have faith that he'll turn out that well, there's no need to worry.
Anyone else ever feel like this about an early-developing, strong, energetic kid? That exactly his best qualities, a lot of the ones you've worked hardest to develop, might get him into the most trouble?
4 comments:
If he's as smart as Jonathan, he'll get into all kinds of trouble that people will
a) Never find out about or
b) Forgive him instantly for.
Raising a very independent child, whose strengths are just the ones the parents hope for - but which are not always exactly what all the family, neighbors, etc. find easy - is a very familiar experience, my dear McKenzie. Thank you for having been such a wonderfully independent and precocious child and for nurturing the same in your son.
This reminds me of the story of Jonathan at age 2. Jonathan attended a daycare because he could not enter preschool until potty trained. He was over three feet tall and weighed 33 pounds. He knew how to turn door knobs. When he awoke from his nap, the door to the napping area was closed. He opened the door AND LEFT IT open. The other children were able to ESCAPE. I received a call from the daycare. The caller said "Jonathan is BIGGER, he should know better...." I retorted "why didn't YOU notice that the door was open?" I drove to the daycare and RESCUED Jonathan. I was incensed. I never took him back to that daycare (the story of trying to work without childcare is one for another day). Jonathan was the same age as the other children, just taller and stronger and therefore able to accomplish his goals (open the door and say hello to grown-ups once he awakened from his nap). He was still a toddler.
Your Tristram is an angel. He will learn boundaries because you and Jonathan will nurture and guide him. He will emerge a completely unique and wonderfully developed person. Long live mischief. Now mayhem, that is another story altogether!
Thanks to all three of you! Tris is a good boy, and very sweet. I just get worried because so much of what people call "being good" in kids is just being passive or making it easy for adults to ignore you, and that's not my boy. Nor should it be--those aren't the qualities that will help him excel in anything.
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